Our microwave is ancient. It is built in above the stove top and is so old that the display no longer works. The only way we’ve figured out to get it to work is push the start button several times and then keep an eye on whatever is in there. Early on I tried timing the start button to see for how long it actually set the microwave. The first time: 28 seconds. The second time: 4 seconds. The third time: 2 minutes and 14 seconds. I then gave up on the theory that the start button actually had a set time. Add to that problem, the fact that I am convinced this ancient microwave is leaking radiation so I try to never be near it when it is running. (protecting the unborn.)

So, this morning, being quite the homemaker that I am, I decided I would microwave my kitchen sponge. Supposedly this will eliminate those yucky odors and deliver a fresh, clean sponge. I put the sponge in, push the start button several times and leave the room (protecting the unborn) to go brush my teeth. After I brush my teeth I discover that Xavier is naked and playing in the living room. This is normally not a big deal, but since the school bus was due in about two minutes I went a little ballistic. Got him dressed and shoved out the door ready for the bus.

Well, apparently there is a time limit on how long you should microwave a sponge. And, as you can see by the picture below (yucky, un-microwaved sponge on left; clean and freshly microwaved sponge on right) I exceeded that time limit.

As I was hosing down the sponge and eliminating the flames from the microwave (by the way, turning on the oven exhaust fan will only add to the fire) my son Max declared that I should be banned from the kitchen. In his words, “Mom, you catch too many things on fire!” Thank you dear boy; isn’t it time for you to go to school now?

The pathetic part of this story is that I was genuinely surprised when I opened the microwave. Not just at the fact that I had burned up a sponge and almost our house. In the span of about 4 minutes, I had totally forgotten that I had put the sponge in the microwave. Maybe Max is right. Maybe I should be banned from the kitchen.

Labels: life of a mom, stupid stuff