| 25 January 2007 |
| Snow Day, part 2 |
 And, ironically enough, today it really did snow. Just enough to cover the sidewalk, streets & a little of the rooftops.
Xavier is at school today. Max would be too, but he is on the last leg of this flu bug. He’ll go tomorrow, unless it doesn't snow and they have to cancel..... |
posted by Aimee @ 9:35 AM  |
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| 24 January 2007 |
| Snow Day |
 Well, there are lots of things that I want to blog about (I’ve written about 3 dozen blog posts in my head—just can’t seem to get them onto the computer!) But, I had to take a moment today and show you what a “Snow Day” in Kentucky looks like.
Yes, school was canceled today. I took this picture from our front door. No, I don’t see any snow, either. Apparently the standards for declaring a snow day in Kentucky are different for a snow day in Ohio.
The forecast calls for scattered flurries tomorrow. Wonder if school will be canceled again?????
Reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw the other day: “We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?”Labels: kids |
| posted by Aimee @ 6:28 PM |
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| 07 January 2007 |
| gone |
She's gone. Mom died today at 4:10 pm. She went peacefully. Her breathing simply got slower and slower until it finally stopped. She was surrounded by her family. Dad was on her left side holding her hand and stroking her hair. I was on her right side. Shelly and her two older kids, Hayley and Collin were by Dad. Jeff and Pam and Bryan were over by me. And she just simply stopped breathing.
My Dad is really torn up. He is overwhelmed with his grief. I feel as though part of me has been torn off and I have a gaping wound. Except I can't actually find the wound and fix it. We had dinner over at Mom & Dad's this evening. I just spent a lot of time looking at things in her house & remembering moments or thinking of future moments that we won't ever get. I honestly can't imagine my future without her right now. There is so much history and so many dumb little rituals that we had. Whenever I called her on the phone I would always greet her with "Hi Mom! It's Aimee." And she would reply, "Hi Aimee! It's Mom." We always talked about what she was going to do around the house (taking the siding off and repairing the original brick was this summer's big project.) We talked about what she was planting in her many flower gardens. And how she was going to help me with my gardens since I was finally going to own a house here in town this year. We would look through magazines and catalogs together and create dream lists of stuff we would buy if we were millionaires. We would talk about the cute things the grandchildren were doing and I would give her pictures that she would take to work to show off. I ate lunch with her at work on Fridays. She would get to show off her grandkids live on those days.
It was only in recent years that Mom learned to say, "I love you." She never said it growing up. But, I started working on her a few years back. I ended every conversation with "I love you, Mom." And eventually, she went from "me too, you." to a full fledged, "I love you." I always knew she loved me, but it's nice to hear the words. I can still hear her voice. I am going to miss her more than I can say.
We meet with the funeral director tomorrow to make all the decisions you make with a funeral director. Then tomorrow evening we are gathering as a family to talk and remember and put together the service. The visitation is Tuesday from 2-4 and 6-8 at Chiles & Son's Funeral Home. The funeral is Wednesday at 11:00 at the church.
One of the hard parts is --- I came to Lima this weekend with the idea that I was just going to visit with Mom, do some cleaning at the house, see if Dad needed anything. And then I was going to drive home early Monday morning. I wasn't coming to watch Mom die and go to her funeral. That wasn't what this trip was about. It all happened so quickly and I feel shell shocked.
I don't think the boys really understand. And I feel sad for everything they will miss out on with her. And, in spite of the rawness of my emotions I still remember that God is holding me and loving me. Just as He is holding and loving my Mom right now. And my Dad. And my sister. And my brother. And my husband. And all the grandkids. He is God. The God who made us and loves us beyond our comprehension.Labels: My Mom |
| posted by Aimee @ 9:48 PM |
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| less than 24 hours |
Death has come knocking at our door. Yesterday my Mom began the final slide toward home. She was given less than 24 hours. I spent several hours at the hospital with my Mom and my Dad and my Aunt. I had a good conversation with Mom. She told me she was scared to die and I got to share with her what I thought heaven was like. In the end she said, "I'll be better off." and smiled a little smile. That flooded my heart with peace. It's funny, lots of people would say that she has to prayer "the sinner's prayer" or she's going to hell. And, quite honestly, I don't know if she's ever prayed that prayer. Probably not. But, I think God is bigger than our attempts to box in his grace. We, as humans, need to quantify and qualify things of the spiritual realm in such a way that they make sense to us. But, God is so much bigger and so much, well... more, than we can ever comprehend. In the end, I think we just need to have faith in Him and not in our rituals. OK, enough preaching. (I'm processing here, just in case you didn't figure that out.)
What happened to cause this sudden turn? Here's my theory. I talked with Dad on Friday and in that conversation he told me that he realized Mom was dying and would not make it until spring. He also told me that he thought she had given up. My Mom's a fighter. She always has been. She's not had an easy life and she has worked hard and fought her whole life for control over her destiny. I think she has fought harder than any of us have realized during this last bout of cancer. She wanted to have a nice family Christmas and see all her grandkids again. She had hopes and dreams of the future. But, I think, on Friday she realized that it's over and she quit fighting. I don't blame her. It would be hard to maintain the fight when you can't get out of bed.
I hope and pray that she can go peacefully into death. I hope and pray that Jeff & Pam (my brother and his wife) and John & Shelly, Hayley, Collin & Sean (my sister and her family) can make it in time to say goodbye. I hope and pray that we, as a family, are able to comfort one another and support one another in our grief. I hope and pray that my Dad will feel good about how he supported Mom through the years and that he will have a lot of happy memories to lean back on. I hope and pray that Dad can grieve well and that people will surround him when he needs it and give him space when he needs that. I hope and pray that people will find God in the midst of all this and cling to Him with everything they have.
I'm going up to the hospital now to be with my family. Go spend time with someone you love. Give them your love and attention. Tell them how much they mean to you. Don't take any moment for granted.Labels: My Mom |
| posted by Aimee @ 5:52 AM |
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| 02 January 2007 |
| My Mom |
This is an email my Dad sent out this afternoon:
Carol update
We just came back from the consultation at Columbus. She has more liver issues, such that they do not want to chance the radio-isotopes for fear that it would shut down her liver. We are calling her oncologist tomorrow to find out what chemotherapy that will be tried next.
She has fallen twice today and she has a terrible time getting back up, she does not want me to help her get up, but she needs it. The first fall was at a resturant in Marysville, and she hit on her face on the concrete ramp into the front door. she has several contusions and abrasions. The second time was just now at home while trying to put on her robe.
I hate to say it, but she is much worse now.
Please keep the prayers coming.Labels: My Mom |
| posted by Aimee @ 6:46 PM |
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| About Me |
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Name: Aimee
Home: Lima, Ohio, United States
About Me: I own and run 123 Design Studio, a custom web and graphic design studio. I am mother to four wonderful boys: Max, age 10, Xavier, age 7, Eli, age 3, and Toby, age 1. Bryan & I have been married for 18 (mostly wonderful LOL) years. I eat excessive amounts of sugar and laugh inappropriately.
See my complete profile
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